In Memorium
Mark Sawyer (1966 - 2010)
Recently, filmmaker and longtime SWAMP supporter Mark Sawyer passed away at his home in Mexia, Texas. Originally from Houston, Mark found support and mentoring at SWAMP as an up and coming young filmmaker. His films were included on THE TERRITORY, our Texas PBS broadcast series.
Mark's sister Kris Rhodes and his family have requested that Mark's memory be honored through contributions to SWAMP. Here is what she had to say:
"Mark held SWAMP near and dear to his heart. Filmmaking was a passion of his and SWAMP was such an integral part of his journey. As his family, we so greatly appreciate your investment in Mark and his projects. For allowing him to create." ~ Kris Rhodes
SWAMP would like to express our deepest sympathy to Mark's family during this difficult time. We sincerely thank them for providing SWAMP with this opportunity to raise funds to support our on-going programs. We believe Mark would be pleased to know that the funds raised in his memory will go towards helping future filmmakers on their own creative journeys.
LETTER FROM ED HUGETZ, FOUNDING DIRECTOR OF SWAMP
First I wish to express my condolences to Mark’s family and friends. Second, I wish to ask for their indulgence in my speaking on the occasion of Mark’s death. I have not seen Mark in twenty five years so it is presumptuous of me to say anything about his life.
BUT,… in April of last year, I received in my office at the University of Houston a book that Mark had just finished titled, “My Psychiatrist Should be Proud of Me; Memoirs of a Schizoaffective Clown”. Inside the book was a note from Mark, saying, “This is my story as it revolves around mental illness. It was those days in the 80s that you are mentioned with…”
I met Mark in the mid-80s when he was 16 and I was 40. I was a professor of film at UH-Clear Lake across the street from the suburban neighborhood where Mark and his family were living at the time. The first film he showed was “Dawn of Terror”. The film was way beyond what you would expect from a 16 year old. The simple premise of the film was, what if that stuffed animal on your bedroom floor suddenly jumped at you. At the time, I was going around the state promoting Super 8 film as a low cost medium for independent makers to practice the art of film. Mark had used every bit of Super 8’s capabilities to make a truly terrifying film. It was especially so because everything seemed so middle class, the bedroom, the house, Mark, himself, and the Sesame Street doll. I was surprised and delighted and so were my colleagues at SWAMP , Marian Luntz and Tom Sims.
In the Introduction to his book, Mark states, “one thing that haunted me throughout these years is the fact that those around me had no idea of my inner psychological experiences….I used to sit in anguish over the fact that no one knew of my inner experiences – that I was alone with it.” It is true that I did not know Mark’s inner experiences, but by the time he showed me his film “Clouds” I was aware that the unique quality of his films was being driven by his intense personal experiences. I had myself been attracted to film because it appeared to give expression to feelings and ideas that I could not share with people around me. Again from Mark’s book, “I walked to the front lawn and looked to the sky. I immediately thought the sky was heaven and the sun was God. I figured we couldn’t see heaven’s angels because they were on top of the clouds. This realization enriched me. It gave sense of purpose and relevance. It also brought about thoughts of time.”
“Clouds” which had long time lapse sequences of clouds passing over head evoked not only the “ineffable”(Mark’s word) meaning of light and forms evolving but an anxiety (my word) driven by time rushing through the cycle of day and night. At the time, my concern was that like so many young people I worked with Mark wanted to make a living by making films and while “Clouds” was important to me and Mark it was not commercial. In his memoir, Mark noted my concern, “it is practical to think in terms of industrials and commercial production and maybe on the side you can make your own films,” said Ed.
Of course, Mark was too brave for my “cautionary tone”. Last April, when I opened his package and saw his book and its title I had to laugh. “Good for him”, I thought, “still at it after all this time”. At the start of his book Mark quotes from Alan Watts’ “LSD: The Consciousness-Expanding Drug”, “this is not simply an idea which someone ‘thought up,’ it is when the sensation of being ‘I’ undergoes a remarkable change. We do not know much about these experiences. They are relatively common, and arise in every part of the world. They occur to both children and adults. They last (only) for a few seconds and constitute a permanent change in consciousness…”
After spending much of the past twenty five years as a University bureaucrat, Mark’s work and ideas have once again hit me between the eyes. Art and its profound relationship to mental illness are essential to a better understanding of ourselves. “As an educator, you have a responsibility to fight the demise of the arts on PBS”, said an angry viewer to me a couple weeks ago, knowing that I am the University’s link to PBS Houston. “How can I say the finances don’t justify it,” I thought, “when I know that art is where I go to get back to that ‘consciousness’ that ‘enriched’ me.”
Last week just before I heard about Mark’s death, I saw the movie “The Soloist”, staring Robert Downey Jr. (as LA newspaper reporter Steve Lopez) and Jamie Foxx (as the brilliant street musician (and schizophrenic) Nathaniel Ayers. I can hear Mark saying, “so you are wrong about dealing with personal experience in commercial movies.” What impressed me in looking at the film and the behind the scene features with the real people was how everyone went way out of their way to come together to make a film about art and mental illness that “we do not know much about”. I particularly identified with Steve Lopez who went beyond the conventional bounds of a journalist to befriend Nathaniel Ayers. “He is so brave”, said Lopez who himself appeared to have been regenerated through his terrifying experience with Ayers.
In his Epilogue, Mark talks about his twenty year journey writing his book. In reaching out to his parents and love ones he acknowledges the delusions that had caused such pain, and then says, “I no longer view my reality (the) same way. To base my reality on any physics nowadays, it would be the simplicity of Newton ’s physics- that’s where everyone else is and that’s where I want to be.” Still in the next and last paragraph he recalls the challenge remaining with regard to art and mental illness. “I feel that I fell way too short in describing the immense effect it had on myself….. I hope I can capture (the) experience in some analogical way in future writings, or experimental films that I might make.”
Mark was always very kind and understanding about my limits, in his note to me, he said, “ I understand you are very busy, as you always have been, but I send this book on the chance that you can find brief periods of time maybe during a plane flight to read some of it in small increments. “
Thank you Mark for being a positive influence on my life.
~Ed Hugetz, Assistant Vice Chancellor, University of Houston
WORDS OF REMEMBRANCE FROM MARIAN LUNTZ
"Mark made a strong impression on all of us at SWAMP with his film, CLOUDS, created as a high school student. He showed talent and promise, and I think was overwhelmed when SWAMP programmed the film on The Territory and at other screenings around the state.
I saw Mark intermittently for several years after that, and was aware of his struggles with mental illness. But what I recall most is his creative spirit and aspirations to develop as an artist and filmmaker. With his childhood friend Jay, he scripted some very entertaining pieces intended for radio, in addition to continuing to persevere with film projects. He connected with our friends in the film community around the state, including Andy Anderson at UT-Arlington, Bart Weiss at the Dallas Video Festival, and the Austin Film Society.
I am so sad to hear of his passing and send my condolences to his family."
~ Marian Luntz, Film and Video Curator, Museum of Fine Arts - Houston